Holy Week in a Carmelite Monastery

As I begin writing this, I almost hesitate to even attempt to capture in words one of the most beautiful spiritual experiences of my life. What words could even come near capturing the sublime beauty of the liturgies for the holiest week in the liturgical year, as celebrated within Carmel's cloisters? Even so, I will attempt to convey as much as I can, and hope the Holy Spirit will infuse the deepest understanding in you as you read my humble words.

The days leading up to the Triduum were filled with increasing anticipation. The tension between Jesus and the Pharisees as recounted in the Gospels of the end of Lent had reached such a point that I could nearly feel it in the air. The hostility they had towards Jesus, and their growing desperation to be rid of Him. The heartbroken rejection Jesus felt after so many loving approaches to His beloved Jersualem and the Chosen People. His exhaustion at constantly being attacked by the Pharisees. Yes, a tangible sense of tension had seized my soul, and one could feel that the time was coming for the completion and crown of Jesus' time on earth.

Spring cleaning kept us busy, as well as preparations for the liturgical celebrations. My fondest memory is helping scrub the dining room floor by hand. Something so satisfying in the buckets of water and bristled brushes, in the manual labor of preparing the room for the commemoration of the Last Supper.

For Holy Week, our usual routine of meal-time readings was interrupted by a series of readings from a Gospel commentary which embellished on the scriptures in a more story-like fashion. We followed Jesus in that last week of His life, from Palm Sunday, to Bethany, to His final visit in the temple. These scenes of His last days vividly played out in my mind through Bishop Goodier's beautiful descriptions, making our accompaniment of Christ in His last days all the more real to me.

Holy Thursday - Love

The Triduum opened with a beautiful feet washing ceremony. I can still hear the heavenly chanting of the nuns of the "Ubi Caritas," as Mother knelt before each of us to wash our feet. A beautiful supper in commemoration of the Last Supper followed later that evening, and then there was quiet until we gathered for Mass. The Gloria was ecstasy as the bells rang out joyously - my heart thrilled as we began the Mass which was an echo and reliving of the first Mass. As at any other church, we had adoration until midnight. The chaplain brought the Monstrance into the cloister to a side room where we all sat with Him. Since I was the youngest, I was right at the front. I passed the entire time with St. Padre Pio's meditation on the agony in the Garden, pausing often just to weep at His side and comfort Him. I thought my heart would break when Father came to take the monstrance...my Jesus goes forth to suffer for me...

Good Friday - Grief

The usual bells which summoned us to prayer were replaced by a wooden rattle which produced a harsh, rasping sound. Utter silence reigned in the halls. For the veneration of the cross during the Good Friday service, we removed our shoes and went up barefoot to venerate the cross on which our Beloved had died. After that, the Crucifix remained on display, propped on purple silks on the altar steps. We sat there with Him, praying, watching. It was all so present, so real to me. Tears streamed down my face throughout the day, as meditations on His sufferings, His love, and on Our Lady filled my soul. In the late afternoon, Father came to remove the crucifix, and I was consumed with grief. The emptiness and sorrow of the disciples filled my heart. Jesus had died and was no longer among us...

Holy Saturday - Silence

Holy Saturday retained a deeper silence, but there were also the preparations for the solemnities of Easter. I remember helping in the kitchen that afternoon. In the chapel entrance there was a print out of Our Lord lying in death, with the line from the Song of Songs, "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you stir not up nor awaken Love until it please." Quietness and anticipation filled me, as we awaited the holiest of nights...

Easter Vigil - Joy

Late that night, in the middle of darkness, we gathered around for the lighting of the Paschal candle which opens the Easter Vigil. When the chapel lights came on after the initial readings, the three monastery bells rung gloriously in unison, accompanying the Gloria. It was all the more joyous as all three were only used together on Sundays and Solemnities, and the somberness of the past days had stifled their song. My heart was about to burst with happiness. He was risen!!! Oh what joy! Everything came about just as He had said; He had overcome death. I vividly remember being so overwhelmed with joy and excitement after the Mass ended that I paused in the hallway on my way to my room, just gazing out the window and whispering to myself in awe, "He is risen! O Jesus, You did it!!" as tears of gratitude filled my eyes.

Easter - Celebration

Easter Sunday itself opened with Mass and a lovely brunch that everyone helped make. Everyone was so happy and we merrily feasted together. After that, things quieted down, as everyone parted ways to read letters from family and begin their responses, or otherwise soak in the solemnity. I myself was too caught up in the spiritual awe, and didn't wish to open any mail quite yet. I went and sat outside with my little booklet containing the Song of Songs, and read of the Beloved. The warm spring air was filled with the sound of birds chirping merrily, and a gentle breeze blew my veil. Everything felt so bridal. I gazed at the hills in the distance, imagining Him coming over them as it says in the Song of Songs: "The voice of my beloved! Behold, he comes, leaping upon the mountains, bounding over the hills." Yes, I was in love...

I hope this little piece gives you a glimpse into the piercing experience of the Triduum I had at the monastery. This, my friends, THIS is our faith - this is reality, this is the fullness, this is what it is to fully immerse oneself into it. I cannot wait for heaven, for this glimpse of the spiritual joy of loving God was the closest to perfect happiness I have ever been.

This Holy Week, let yourself experience every moment alongside Our Lord. Meditate, feel it, let everything be as if it is newly unfolding before your eyes, and you are there with Our Lord, with Our Lady. Because only in this way can the Triduum truly have the powerful transforming effect on your soul that only such sublime mysteries can contain.

-Cecilia

The Carmelite Homemaker