A New Chapter: How I Decided to Begin My Journey with the Secular (Third Order) Discalced Carmelites

(This article is dedicated to my husband, Brandon, without whom I would not be able to so easily pursue this calling to the Secular Discalced Carmelites. For your loving support from the first moment I brought it up...thank you. I love you.)

Praised be Jesus Christ!

As some of you may already be aware of through my social media posts, I have begun formation with the Secular Discalced Carmelites (OCDS)!

Today I just wanted to share how I came to this point, why it wasn't sooner, and why I believe God is calling me to this.

Being a Secular Discalced Carmelite has been on my mind and heart since marriage. It was such a beautiful thought to know there was still a way I could be a Carmelite, even though my journey of discerning religious life had come to an end.

Being newly married, though, and not yet having experienced what the daily life of motherhood would look like for me, it seemed the timing of pursuing it was impractical. Was this really the season of life to be undertaking such a commitment? Would I be able to sustain it in my early years of motherhood, when my days would be filled with the many duties of tending to little ones?

It did not help my reservations that the majority of third order members I knew were of retirement age; and I remembered there was one mother of littles who I followed on Instagram that had been in formation and discerned out due to it being too much for her season in life.

And so, the idea remained on the back burner. Maybe once I had a baby or two and saw what it was like, then I could discern further. Or maybe just wait till I had raised my family. At any rate now was not the time.

Fast forward a couple years, and I had a nine month old daughter. In one of the spurts of Third Order being on my heart, I had a realization that changed everything.

I realized I had decided, in the abstract, that being a Secular Carmelite wouldn't work for me in this season of life. I had totally neglected the consideration that where God leads, His grace provides...

This realization made me feel rather sheepish. God had been putting this on my heart, asking me to walk the path of Carmel, and without even trying, I had told Him it didn't work for me. Wow.

Convicted, I reached out to the local OCDS community shortly thereafter. When I first spoke to the community president on the phone, I shared my experience of being in the Carmelite monastery for a year, and also my hesitations about pursuing third order while being in the early years of motherhood.

"Bring the baby to the meetings! And don't worry if you need to nurse her or step out to take care of her - you do what you need to!" she told me warmly. (In the times I've needed to have my little one with me at meetings, the whole community has been so welcoming and kind...they even ask for her if she's not with me haha! So grateful for their sweet supportiveness and love for her that has eased any hesitations I had in regard to being able to attend meetings!)

After this phone call, I began attending meetings as a visitor, which is the first step of active discernment with an OCDS community. The first meeting I went to was this past March, and I attended several others over the following months (one needs to do at least three visits before being able to officially begin formation). I couldn't believe the gift God gave me in the fact that their monthly meeting is at a parish literally 5 minutes from where I live!!

At this point of my discernment, I had not shared with anyone aside from my husband and parents that I was thinking of moving in this direction, spending the spring/summer quietly discerning. Once I officially made my decision in August to move forward and begin formation, I gradually started sharing more openly, beginning with my close friends (the decision of whether or not to share in my Carmelite Homemaker content was something I had to thoughtfully consider and pray about).

The formation year for my particular OCDS community begins in October, with the Mass where members who are receiving the Third Order scapular have their clothing ceremony, and those making first or final promises, or renewing their promises, do so. It was beautiful to attend this Mass and witness such moments of grace.

In the November meeting, which was just this past Saturday, I officially began my Apsirancy, the year long, first stage of formation. I was filled with so much peace and joy in taking this official step towards joining the Order my heart so loves, and my soul was made for.

I cannot wait to see how this journey unfolds...God is already working in my heart in ways I didn't anticipate. He is so good, never ceasing to call us into an ever-deeper relationship with Himself.

Please pray for me as I continue on this path of discernment and growth in all that it means to live Carmelite spirituality!